A very sensitive Soul, initially full of joy and spontaneity, John’s early experience being in incarnation was marked by the impact of overpowering verbal abuse coming from his father, with constant shaming and humiliation. It is our understanding that this has imprinted in his psyche what we have come to identify as a Core Wound.
In this piece, I will share a glimpse into this client’s journey, showing how we have been working through the healing of his Core Wound through a combination of Voice Dialogue in association with Flower Essence Therapy, and under the light of understanding of healing Attachment Wounds. This is a snapshot of a work in progress: my hope is that the understanding of this process in action will help you see how you can work in similar ways, towards your own core wound transformation.
Through the Layers of the Onion, to the Core
In the first books we read about Flower Essence Therapy, it is most often said that the journey we go through with the essences takes us through the many “layers of an onion”, gradually moving us to the Core. But not much is said about the nature of this core, and how we unravel a core wound.
With three decades of experience as a Flower Essence Practitioner applying this work, and now expanding into more recent studies, I have deepened my understanding of core wound formation and its healing. For this work, I count on the excellent Voice Dialogue training I went through, a technique originally developed by Hal and Sidra Stone, also inspired by the understanding of psychoanalyst Roberto Assaglioli, an Italian psychiatrist who was a contemporary of Jung and Freud.
Psychosynthesis, an approach that preceded today’s “Parts Work”
Assaglioli used to lead his clients through a process that became known as Psychosynthesis, that involved getting acquainted with their own inner Voices, or inner “Parts”, allowing for deep levels of healing and an evolving integration. In a late interview well into his nineties, Assaglioli, surrounded by flowers, talks about the healthy integration of the human psyche.
Also, in his book What we May Be, Piero Ferruci shares more about Assaglioli’s multidimensional work, that includes and integrates our Spiritual Dimensions.
Today, other kinds of “Part’s Work” exist, the most well known and respected ones being Voice Dialogue and Internal Family Systems.
Furthermore, at this time, the evolving areas of study of Neuroscience, Trauma Healing and the understanding of our Interrelated selves (I am highlighting here Daniel Siegel’s groundbreaking interdisciplinary approach on The NeuroBiology of WE) are all showing us this is all interrelated. As a result, we are gaining further clarity on how to use integrated approaches to more effectively heal.
This awareness is also at the foundation of the processes described here, as is the understanding that Flower Essence therapy plays a major integrative role that interconnects everything, for renewed and embodied patterns.
Choosing my tools and acquiring experience
Becoming a Voice Dialogue practitioner has involved training and a lot of practice. As I continued going deep into this learning, now stepping into a role of assistant Coach in the team guided by Tim Kelley and Beth Scanzani, I participated in an intensive journey with more than 100 individuals working through a process that was called Evolving Beyond your Wounds. Seeing the results so many participants experienced based on this understanding, has helped me grow much further in my ability – and confidence – to guide clients through the core healing they yearn for.
Flower Essence Therapy is central to all the work I do
What is different is that I do this integrating flower essences: this being my Life’s Work, it could not be any different. For me and my clients, the journey with the flowers is a core part of the process and is what makes it even more effective.
Our Core Wound is intimately related to our Purpose
One of the basic tenets of the True Purpose Institute approach is that we all experience an early imprint of a wound, and this wounding generates a core belief about ourselves, coupled with unique patterns of coping and survival.
In order to adapt and survive while carrying this core wound, we develop Inner Parts (of our psyche) that will enact our unique behavioral patterns. The skills we develop to cope and survive are a big part of what we can call the “training” for our purpose.
In really does happen that our wounding propels us into developing unique skills that will turn out to be perfectly suited for a purpose that will eventually evolve and flourish. But this same core wound may also keep us locked in painful vicious cycles, blocking us from truly manifesting our Purposeful action in the world. For this, we may really need to find a path for Evolving Beyond our Wounds!
Flourishing: based on the experience I have gathered, I see the combination of Flower Essence Therapy with this understanding as an effective approach for reaching this core healing and a fuller or further stage of Manifestation of one’s Purpose.
Our core wound revolves around a negative belief about ourselves
A Core Wound usually results from either one major impactful experience, or the constant repetition of impactful experiences, most often happening early in life during the first 8 to 10 years of childhood. These experiences that impact individuals in traumatic ways create a sense of overwhelm, one in which unbearable feelings are stored away and conditioned survival / coping responses become primed.
We inevitably find that core wounding results in a potent negative core belief about ourselves. This often “crippling” belief lies at the center of it all and will need to be transformed, through the conscious identification of the belief and its transmutation. And Flower Essence therapy is a powerful approach that helps us uncover and transform negative beliefs held at the core.
The transmutation of this core crippling belief allows the whole core wound pattern to gradually unravel, with all functions upgraded to a renewed version, one that potentiates the fuller manifestation of our Soul Purpose.
Sensitive children experience sensory and emotional input in ways that are amplified beyond what is bearable
John was a very resonant, ultra sensitive child, a typical HighlySensitivePerson (HSP). Someone with a different constitution may have responded differently, but for him, the intensity of his father’s communication was shattering and these verbally abusive situations happened repeatedly.
He told me that initially he was a very expressive and spontaneous child, for which he received increased verbal violence from his father, causing a blockage of his natural expression of feelings and emotions. As a result, both his anger, his deep grief and all kinds of spontaneous emotions were stuffed and hidden deep within.
In the Voice Dialogue perspective, parts of our psyche are formed at specific times throughout our lives, to serve our coping and survival needs. In his case, as it often happens, when facing these situations of loud verbal abuse, John developed outer protective parts, while his inner vulnerable child parts took on his intense feelings into hiding. His coping mechanism was to try to encapsulate those feelings.
His outer Protector parts will continue doing the “outside game”, while his vulnerable parts retreated into hiding, carrying within the enormity of the feelings of anger, grief, fear, shame and unsafety. These processes are explained in clear ways by the Internal Family Systems approach, that is somewhat analog to Voice Dialogue.
The Essences help integrate decades of Inner Work allowing for a more embodied transformation
When starting this work with me, John had already gone through decades of inner work and has made significant advances on his journey. Later in life, retired from his “day job”, he developed fine tuned skills as a Life Coach, True Purpose Coach and Voice Dialogue facilitator, being very effective in the work that he offers.
When we began our work, John had already done the transformation of his core negative belief through the Belief Closet transformation method. Flower Essence therapy was totally new for him, and clearly, all along he could have benefited from their healing gifts. Had he not gone through that belief clearing before, this would have been an initial focus of our work.
Despite all the healing he had undergone, the continuing presence of his core wound patterns still blocked his ability to act decisively towards bringing his work out to others who may benefit from it.
In his case, the daring and courage for this kind of outreach is totally hindered: he is so good at what he does and he knows he truly helps his clients, but he feels blocked in taking action to bring his work out.
In fact, he feels blocked around action of many different kinds, and as we unravel his core wound, we get to a much clearer understanding of how this happened and how this can finally and gradually be transformed.
The Astrological Birth Chart offers clues to his hidden strengths
For this journey, we got started with a Flower Essence Therapy session. As I look at the essences that come up for him, also staring at his Astrological Birth Chart, I am struck by the fact that he has this potent Aries Moon conjunct an Aries Mars, that indicate powerful fiery energy that have obviously been thwarted from very early on. His strong and fiery Aries forces have been suppressed and compressed into grief and fear as a result of early traumatic abuse.
For this first formula, Yerba Santa is chosen to address the profound grief locked deep inside and Hyssop for a constant self blaming and guilt for not being who he “should be”. Scarlet Monkeyflower is also chosen to help bring out his fiery healthy aggressiveness, vigor and strength, allowing the fiery power within (that also includes anger and intense emotions) to find new and healthy paths of expression.
Quince and Red Larkspur are also part of this first formula, enhancing his positive qualities of strength of heart and positive leadership that he has developed beautifully, leading to him to play significant roles in men’s groups as a facilitator and leader. He has trouble acknowledging and owning these great strengths, and these essences will help him embody these more fully.
From this point onwards, I invite you to watch this process as it unfolds, with the essences and Voice Dialogue helping us unravel the core wound patterns that have become deeply ingrained.
Voice Dialogue sessions unfold revealing Inner Parts
When we enter into Voice Dialogue work, we always ask for permission from one’s overall Protector. In this case permission is granted, and we move through a sequence of sessions, identifying key protective parts surrounding the wound, that have played different roles throughout time.
We begin by inviting for dialogue more “visible” or “primary parts”, which tend to be the ones that show up more readily and seem to be always around.
Procrastination, avoidance of action, has been one of his main complaints. Early on, he would get aggressive reactions from his father for what he did, or for what he failed to do. As a result, his coping decision turned towards simply trying to avoid action. From our Voice Dialogue sessions, we discover that his Procrastinator part was actually fulfilling a protection role all along: through constant avoidance, this part of his psyche has been trying to keep him safe.
As we engage in open dialogue with this part, the part feels acknowledged and heard. We then begin asking the part about its highest intentions and its talents. We move further into the conversation and the part renames itself Risk Assessment part. This part is now ready and willing to change. We are able to help it upgrade its function, now allowing for effective action!
John does have a courageous, honorable and valiant part – Commander – known to show up when in service, offering his best qualities to help others. We call in this part and as our interactions evolves we learn that it now feels encouraged and emboldened (help from Quince and Red Larkspur).
Strong reliable parts hold space for Vulnerable Parts
We also meet Big John, who holds space as a positive father figure to his vulnerable inner child, and a relationship of trust is gradually built.
Based on the trust that is established, many parts open up to me as a facilitator and, only then, do we dare to call in his fearful vulnerable child part. This part had been holding in great amounts of grief and fear, that were too intense to bear. Now with the support of Yerba Santa, this vulnerable part is helping John breathe more deeply: now there is enough trust for it to more easily reveal itself, coming out of hiding.
At first, Little John does not want to talk much, but as he eases up in the safety of the space we are holding, a sense of trust and ease grows, while glimmers of lightness beginning to raise its state from being buried in grief. Some of the spontaneity and joy that was the true nature of his inner child is reawakened, showing us that profound healing is already taking place.
We have held space for a reconvening of Commander and Big John, holding little John in a space that is firmly protected and safe, where little John can have his feelings acknowledged, with his truth and his needs met.
Parts reveal how they had been trying to help
We also get to meet a part that rebels against obligations and all the “shoulds” of life: “if this is a demand, I won’t do it”. We discover that this part has held on to these attitudes as ways of having agency and choice.
This part does acknowledge that this used to be helpful for John in the past, when he was very young. In those days, these attitudes of rebellion and dispersion felt empowering, but as he moved further in life, the way this part has acted keeps him from getting engaged and effectively getting things done, and this ends up ultimately being frustrating.
This rebellious part reveals that it is tired of always opposing action, as it does not feel this really helps John. It wants to operate in a new mode, as it says it actually does want to get engaged in purposeful action and yearns to help John know he has agency over his life in more effective ways. At this stage, we have included Chestnut Bud and repeated Explorer’s Gentian, helping him overcome repetitive patterns that have not been helpful, taking him ahead to fresh ways of functioning towards Purposeful Action.
We also had further encounters with the vulnerable and fearful part. Garlic flower essence is helping it with paralyzing fears, and Yarrow is helping him build resilience for his overall sensitivity, resilience that will be so much needed for the times that lie ahead.
This part has renamed itself, from Rebel to Purposeful Action, showing willingness and vibrancy when engaging with what needs to get done.
Major challenges now call for his innermost resilience
At this point in our ongoing journey, life has been presenting many challenges for John: his beloved partner of many years, the one who brought the most love and appreciation into his life, as well as full emotional safety, has been diagnosed with a very serious and life threatening health condition.
From this point onwards John asks me for a very specific kind of help: as his partner gets more frail, going through surgery and difficult decisions around treatment, he will now need to be the Rock that helps to hold their lives together as they navigate through this passage.
His formulas now have the repeated presence of Penstemon, Mountain Pride, Walnut and Explorer’s Gentian. He feels strengthened and supported in his courage and determination to face the major challenges that are unfolding day after day.
As for effective action, John has always considered himself as someone who had ADD from early on, so it is congruent that for the parts that are now wanting to get involved in more effective action, he benefits from taking Cosmos, Lemon and Shasta Daisy. With these essences that we can consider his system has always needed, there is finally the possibility of an upgrade on how he functions for effective and focused action. We already see much progress unfolding in how he is able to take initiative and stay engaged in activities he used to avoid or participate in less effective ways.
This is just a “peek” into a work in progress, as you can see.
John’s core wound has been a result of what we call Developmental Trauma, when there is repeated exposure to traumatic experiences during the very early formative years, so these patterns we are addressing have been set very long ago. For cases like this, the Voice Dialogue work, that also involves coaching, focuses on a gradual recreation of habits, as each of the inner parts finds its upgraded expression and new habits are gradually practiced and cultivated, until they become part of how he functions in ongoing ways.
Beyond our Wounds to fully Flourishing Purpose
It is painful to go through great part of our lives harboring these wounds, always trying to cope and compensate, and some of us are tired. Initially, we were propelled by the discomfort of the wounds, but eventually, this healing became a commitment and a way of life.
We may feel we have been doing too much of this inner work, and that may be the case. But I do say to my clients (and to myself) that all this healing we are doing is not only for ourselves individually, it is for everyone: each one of us who is able to accomplish transmutation and transformation helps and improves the collective consciousness.
Committed and Courageous Souls embrace a path that is not for the faint of heart, and this allows other levels of our Purpose to finally truly flourish.
